Shuteye Nation

“All the News We Chose To Print”

An Invitation Of Sorts


And special greetings to those on a side trip from Shuteye Town.


Don’t be nervous. Easy to get back to where you came from.


Shuteye Town Side Trips Page



Famous fugitive hacker turned Empirical Philosopher, D. Pangloss

“The Best of All Possible Nations” — Daniel Pangloss

First there was The Boomer Bible. Then there was Shuteye Town 1999. Which all paved the way for Shuteye Nation, the United States of Ameria. And what a wonderful land it is, so brimming with things from sea to shining sea. It’s not exaggeration to say that Ameria is the best nation ever in the best of all possible wurlds. When you think about it, everyone loves us, deep down, and if they ever say otherwise it’s because those are all people who owe us big time. At some point in the past we’ve saved their lives, their freedoms, and their economies. We’ve lent them money and they knew they wouldn’t have to pay us back, because we’re Amerians, and their currencies are just funny money to us anyway. I can hear some of you carping in the peanut gallery: What about all the people who love us we killed in various wars? We didn’t nuke them, did we? We could have, still could. In the meantime, they owe us money, safe air traffic control, blue jeans, and the only music any of them ever listens to anymore. God bless Shuteye Nation!

Some Things Probably Shouldn’t Be Dug Up

Every nation has crates and boxes full of the stuff it doesn’t look at in the past. Same here.

Time for Your Game Face

You should take a moment or two to prepare yourself. An unusual place calls for unusual methods of getting in shape for it. Here’s what we recommend.

Familiarize yourself with the Cockpit. Prepped just for You. Or Her. When She Shows Up. The gizmo to your right shows your blood pressure.

Study the Instrument Panel Key. What’s not marked nobody knows what it is. The Forbidden thing is the Titillometer. She wouldn’t like it.

Now forget all that and fly on over to the Visitors Center...